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rabies
BY JASON CHEN '24

sometimes i dream myself a rabid dog
foaming at the mouth, shivering with anticipation
thinking reason was polite
but amnesia might be safer

have you ever been scared of teeth 
you knocked out of your own mouth?
clattering on the ground like medals revoked
gold, silver, bronze, until you’re nobody
lost in a mausoleum of your finite splendor

the way gunshots ricochet in a fishbowl
the way painter’s tape never rips straight
the way a splinter will eventually burst into a sore

sometimes i dream myself a rabid dog
trying to speak with a swollen tongue
my body rejecting clean air, burying unhappiness
until it comes bubbling up
thinking you might be scared too
but you are only disappointed

will you stroke my bones to sleep?
will you stay me when i try to escape delusion?
you lift water to my lips, and i wonder
how many times would i have to dribble onto myself
for you to give up on me?

once, you tease
shooting my eyes with blood
and i am hit square in the hippocampus
thinking that this might not be a dream at all
but a forlorn life i was too afraid to realize

once, i repeat
thinking that you have never taken me seriously
but maybe it is the truth i would rather not realize
a fever i have to burn my way through

 

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melancholy
ART BY EUGENIE KIM '25

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